Pasta pesto, pronto

St Joseph’s Wort. I mean, really, St Joseph’s Wort. Who names plants? Who decides what herbs should be called? Fortunately, the name didn’t really catch on, evoking as it does a carbuncle on a monk’s hand, foot or worse.

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Forlorn dogs, good ole boys and macaroni cheese

It wouldn’t be surprising to learn that macaroni cheese is popular among Country & Western songwriters. It’s just the thing after a night on stage pouring your heart out to your foot-stompin’, hair-tuggin’, breast-beatin’ fans about how your wife ran off with the handsome cowboy from the neighbouring ranch, the dog died of a broken heart (country singers’ dogs do that if they haven’t already fled to the neighbouring county to get away from all the goddamn caterwauling), or the lowlife yeller bastard you married left you for some tight-jeans-wearin’, over-mascara’d cow(girl) he met at the hoedown.

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The Roasting of the Killer Tomatoes

The tomato has been said to be just one chromosome removed from the human being. (I know – I also know some people like that.) This must be very worrying for tomatoes. Looking at the human world around them, they must marvel that they are almost capable (but for a solitary chromosome) of the kind of evils their human cousins are able to indulge in.

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A perfect day for annoying the Food Police

WOKE up Sunday morning, yawned, looked out the window. Glorious day. Not a cloud in the sky, head didn’t hurt. Didn’t need an organically-brewed Fair Trade beer for breakfast, never mind one more for dessert. Perfect, just perfect. A perfect day for killing some sacred cows.

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Creating a stir with extra zooma

Risotto is a dish for a man who truly lives his life, and to hell with the consequences. Risotto is real zooma food, singing and dancing when ordinary people are idling the time of day. Risotto is not for sissies. It’s one of the most taxing things to make because it is so easy to mess up. Risotto rice, usually arborio, is as hardgrained as a politician who knows how to trounce opponents at the polls, with a winning smile and a compelling dance disguising the grit behind his eyes. Risotto is not to be messed with.

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A method for cooking pasta you cannot refuse

If your pasta is less than perfectly al dente, scowling, toothless crones swathed in black cross themselves when you come near, then scurry away down dark alleyways burbling in Latin.

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