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A devil of a time with heavenly vegetables

But the courgettes developed a life of their own. They grew and grew, and then grew some more. I lined the hallway with them, and the tannies would squeal on sight of a row of priapic marrows.

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Night of the vegetarian vampires

VAMPIRES slunk into dark corners on sight of the caramelly whole roasted garlic as I took them from the cinders and unfurled their shiny foil blankets. Hard to imagine that I had lived for 20 years before even tasting the pungent, plump cloves. Now I eat them whole, though not quite raw, and movies like Twilight and Nosferatu the Vampire no longer frighten me.

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Strawberry meals forever

I THINK I may be going to Organic Hell. This is a pristine Orwellian place where you are sent if you have committed an Organic Sin.

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The first and most florid celebrity chef

It’s easy when you know how: combine equal amounts of good food, wine and friends, stir gently against a backdrop of Provence, Tuscany or the Cape winelands, and place on the backburner of your life to simmer.

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