Other old people have started permeating my dreams: Madonna (13 years older than me and able to do the splits); JK Rowling (six years older than me and worth £560 million or R6 038m); my mother’s 95-year-old friend, who can drink more red wine at lunch than a gaucho.
The invitation plopped into my inbox. The pleasure of my company was being requested at “The Presidential Cocktail”. After Jacob Zuma’s reply to responses to his State of the Nation address, he was going to hobnob with diplomats, dignitaries, bigwigs, VIPs, whips and a crossword junkie.
If the young parmisans succeed, cheese will be banned. I broke the news to The Shrink, my crossword companion.
“Even toasted cheese sandwiches will be outlawed – so will your favourite part, the crust. There will be no exceptions for Crustians. Juju is the Anti-Crust. The thought is too much to camembert.”